"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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