If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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