i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
