The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
lets start a swedish sibling band together
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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