do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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