Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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