Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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