This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Bring me that man meat
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
