i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize