i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am one with the molecules
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
