Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We need to get me chipped asap
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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