Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize