I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
