my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
