I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
