the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There are leaves in my underwear?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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