found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
