Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
