Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
