I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How external is "for external use only"?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
