so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
