Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
