I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
