NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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