I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
