Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
