there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
