she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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