xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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