Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize