I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
