I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
