Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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