I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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