Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
