I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
