Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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