whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
