But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
