god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
