I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
