That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
