Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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