you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
