Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
