i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
