it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
