Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize