Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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