its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
MIDGETS
????
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
