You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
