every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
