fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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