It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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