He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
