idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
