i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
