The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
