Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
