yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
