Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
