He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
